tequila shots

hmm, I've got so many bruises on me >.<
from the hard core playing for the past few weeks!
well, i'm proud of them :D

but when i say "bruises", the thing that comes to mind is "EGO".
yes, my ego was bruised. it still is..
maybe some part of me really couldnt face the fact that I've lost the game.
I couldnt accept that I was played.
hmmm....

but for most part, I couldnt accept that people knew that I was played?
I felt exposed and seriously 'BRUISED' when pokey they all found out on fb.
haish. I couldnt take it. I left the group and walked arnd alone.
I almost cried.
however, telling myself it was ego hurting and not entirely the feelings,
it did make me feel A LOT better. LOL.

anyway~
M playing with fire here.
We kept a bit of contact..?
I wanted to play more. a defence tactic perhaps?
to perhaps give myself back some selfworth?
I feel the need to get back at him.

yuan lai, my ego problem so kinyao de... O_O
gosh, why am I so complicated? lol.
in the end, it would still be me who gets hurt rite?

❥ †r¥ïñg †ö lïvê †hê ß꧆ öµ† ö£ ï† ツ