Nightmare Chain

OMG. semester break is over! sobs.

and i had the most shitty one. think.

so not enuf! and i fell sick. fever, sore throat, food poison, menstrual cramp -.-

worse part: i din get enuf sleep..

Everyday.. i had nightmares.

well, technically u dont call those the horror type.

but it just makes me cant slp.

those like.. i dreamt abt me going back to KK. but i missed the flight.

kinda thing?

urghh. ):

and now i've gotten sick of trying to slp every night!

izzit loneliness? or am i too sober?

every night before i can finally slp, i go thru an agonizing few hrs.

reminiscing back the past...

thinking abt the future..

reflecting on the present.

and frankly saying, i think i might be drowning in relationship problems.

guah.

i'm getting all these mixed feelings.

all these random thoughts.

and i cant take a break.

kit kat doesnt help. (haha)

tonight is one of those nights as well.. but i guess bloggin does help.

i'm feeling a bit more slpy now..

nites :) give a good dream pls. =)

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Dear Diary..

mhm.. it's been a while :)

anyway, November.. had been.. not so good.

Lots of unhappy stuff happened.

Especially with a very dear fren in MMU.

spending too much time together might end up with more conflicts.

this is true.

well, mostly becz humans r like that.

we seek to be understood. and we assumed others should and understand us.

and that's were the problem starts.

Expectation.

Assumption.

i've learned

"不要要求别人谅解你，因为发现 不被谅解反而更加痛苦”

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回忆的反反复复？

昨天 失眠啊。。

突然 很想 很想 KK 噢。

想起无数的美好时光。

是开心的。

今天，

好累， 好累啊。

精神上所承担的显得特别沉重。。

与MMU朋友们相处有稍微的摩擦，

说不出口， 懒得谈， 懒得吵， 更懒得闹。

算了。

今天，

脑海里一样闪过过去的画面，

一样是开心的回忆。。

可是为什么， 这次感觉不一呢？

心， 带有刺痛的感觉。

眼泪，也就这样流了下来。

原来， 回想过去不一定会带给一个人微笑。

我错了。思念是一种难以形容的痛。

回想过去

让我更了解无法让时间倒流的事实。

让我觉得很像失去了 生命中 非常非常重要的一大部分。

让我不知不觉地讨厌和厌倦现在。

让我发现我唯一可以做的， 就是抬头挺胸， 往前走。

可是， 真的没有想像中的容易啊。

❥ †r¥ïñg †ö lïvê †hê ß꧆ öµ† ö£ ï† ツ

again with the " you've changed"

OMG.

i noe la.

i sux at comforting ppl now.

i sux at motivating ppl now.

I've been told to be good at those in Form1-3?

you wanna noe y?

cz i cant do the decision for you.

cz i realise tat life is up to you to decide.

how you handle the situations in life will result in a different way!

and i dont have the right to make u do a decision.

and i've learn the hard way in my life.

I think it's better to tell ppl what they shud hear, not wad they wanna hear!

you think it's easy for me?

izzit??

meddling with ppl's affairs. i'm nt fond of that anymore.

i've outgrown the naive shell of mine.

i'm tired for doing so much and getting less returns.

i noe hw u feel. i rly do.

believe or not, it hw how a lot of ppl feel.

tat's wad makes it hard.

if u ask for my advice or wadever,

dont expect me to ask u to do smth.

unless i'm 100% sure of it.

if not, the choice is forever yours, and u cant blame me for it.

URGH.

i'm so sensitive with this "you've chged" issue!!!

): HATE IT.

❥ †r¥ïñg †ö lïvê †hê ß꧆ öµ† ö£ ï† ツ

再次离开。。

回去差不多一个星期多，

时间如火箭一样快地飞去。

在这短短的时间里

我忙了很多事情

和很多人创造了不少回忆噢！

回来的感觉

就像是，

我从来没有离开过。

可是， 可能就因为这样，

再度离开， 也和首次离开一样伤心， 心疼。

不对。

应该是 更加伤心， 心。。 显得更加沉重啊。

或许 整个星期都在忙 所以 没什么和自己的心情接触，

在离开的当天 才真真发现自己根本不想回马六甲。

早上， 妈妈带我去剪头发， 坐在那儿时， 泪默默地流了下来。

我也只能把泪收回， 不断告诉自己 “上次也是这样离开的， 没什么好哭的。”

回到家， 妹妹开始缠着我了。

开头觉得有点烦， 就对他动手了。

然后 看着他 不坑一声地把头往枕头埋去了。

那时， 才发现， 才察觉到， 他对我的不舍。

我离开后， 他应该很寂寞吧。

泪啊。。 又不听话了。

和家人说再见时， 也有一种难以形容的复杂心情啊。

说真的， 在机场时有两个我非常 非常 想见的人。

就是 在上个星期和我相处最愉快的。

可是， 他们都没有出现。 也算了吧。 (:

上了飞机后， 真的很累了。。

就闭上眼睛。。 醒来后， 再也睡不回了。

因为， 脑海里 都是在沙巴的回忆！

想念！ 可以变得如此的难受。。

真是一种 带着开心的伤心啊！

T____T

很想念“你”的拥抱。

也很想念和“你”一起的时光。

到了马六甲的家，

感觉上 很不踏实。

为什么时间不能倒流呢？ ):

haihh..

可是， 他们也说，

“不要伤心它已过去， 而要开心它曾经发生过！”

我会加油的。

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Exhaustion

Oh mii gawdd...

travelling is tiring, but it feels so good to be back. (WHEN WIT MY FRENS)

it feels kinda tiring to be at home??

it's nt boredom.

it's like i have to please my mum especially?

omg. i am so tired. i am so behsong with her mood swings.

my grandma came over too.

i mean i do love her. n i do spend time wit her.

i talk to her.

BUT

whr was my mum? busy at office.

at night, i wanna do my stuff, ohh cannot.

cz mum thinks tat we bo choi grandma.

and gets mad at me.

SLAM DOOR.

RAISE HER VOICE.

BLAH BLAH BLAH.

OMG la. very tiring u noe?

i noe i shudnt have tis feeling?

but i DO.

I feel very 'FAN' when you talk to me..

I feel very 'FAN' when grandma n auntie talk.

URGHH.

Life is so unfair sometimes.

Just becz other ppl dont do wad they nid to,

you have to do it.

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Dreams again...

I wish i can record my dreams and watch again later.

haha..

anyways, I better write them down before i forget?

i had 3 nitemares ytdy. and a good dream too. haha. 4 dreams in a nite!

lol~

Nitemares:

1st)

Everywhr i go, chinese is like banned. It disappeared. N i was searching hard. ):

2nd)

Repetitive of the 1st, lol.. but this time, i was telling Karine about it. T T

3rd)

Lol, thr was a fight, I was siding one of the teams. lol. (dont rly rmb liao) but it was a bit bloody. hahaha.. i rmb one part, whr i kinda main buyuk. lol. i go kacau the judging system. :P

Good dream)

I dreamt of my lovely LokYuk Juniors!

♥♥♥

Well, we always dont rly rmb who's in our dreams so i barely can...

but thr's Jeremiah, Amanda Chee, Cheryl Kok, Winnee... etc. a whole lot. lol.

mostly those who worked under me before.

*SCREAMS*

I miss being your KETUA ohh..

U guys got miss me bo? haha..

I was in some kind of competition.

Fellow competitors: LokYuk friends?? no idea. lol. i just rmb one is Paw i think :O lol

Judge: MMU PGL0015 Lecturer -_____-

anyways,
Then i got special treatment! my last task was very very hard.

but the judge gave me my lokyuk juniors as backup.

huhu! so happy. hahahaha.

We were suppose to remake a chair (those boss sit one) wit the spare parts & redecorate.

+ all the other small stools. haha..

before i could end the dream,

*ALARM RINGS*

uh.. ): din have the chance to finish building the chairs! T T

but hey, the design is planted in my mind. :) maybe..

just maybe..

one day, it might be a dream come true

♥

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我不怪你

我不怪你 想要默默地离开

因为 如果是我 我应该会做出一样的事吧。。

就算 离开是自己的选择

离开的那一刻 依然会让人有种难以形容的痛和不舍。

更何况 如果离开是别人对你的要求呢？

所以 选择 默默离开 就可以避免面对不想面对的。。

朋友， 离别， 哭泣， 更切实的心痛和不舍。。

我明白， 可是 真的是这样吗？

当你在飞机上默默流泪时，

其实 我也一样陪着你。

你感受得到吗？

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梦。

昨天睡得不错哦！

发了一场梦。

梦里的人都是KK的朋友！ 哈哈。

有点可笑，也有点奇怪。

当时很像是在排戏，有几只牛， 很像在比哪只快 还是什么的。 哈哈。。

然后 有人说华文， 突然 又变 马来文。 zzz..

然后 突然 我就在人群里了， 和朋友们看戏。。HAHAHAHA.

可是 感觉不错！ 嘻嘻 ~ ^^

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想念

要考试了！

可是突然想我在KK的朋友们！

我要回去了哟！ 嘻嘻。

可是想你们时，

就不知不觉看回我们以前一起走过的时光！

让人感受到带着伤心的开心啊。。。

笑着哭， 哭着笑。

我很想很想很想念你们啊！

你们都好吗？！

T T

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孤单

有时候会去想“孤单”是不是个诅咒?

近来， 读了一些有关天平座的文章。。

也不算是迷信吧。

可是还蛮准的。 哈哈。。

“天平座是最怕孤单的。。”

一个人的时候，

没有事情忙着的时候，

孤单的滋味还蛮切实的。

让人觉得有点疲倦，厌倦而已。

只想用睡眠， 让时间过去。

晚安了。。 (:

p/s: 他们也说天平座是很依靠别人的！ 我绝对不认同！ :P

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诅咒吗？

有时候 真的很害怕 闭上眼睛。。

因为 会回到回不去的过去，

因为 会看到不想面对的将来，

因为 会体会到渴望发生的事的痛苦，

因为 会被那么实际的思念和寂寞所折磨。。

累啊。

可是也只好 闭上眼睛了。。

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a leap of faith perhaps?

going back Melaka soon lerr..

I dun wanna say Goodbye laar.

espcially when u rly nid to mean it.....

it's so saddening. makes me realise hw loooong more till the next "hi" to you..

hw loong more till i get to see you again..

wad makes it harder..

is that i rly dunno.

❥ †r¥ïñg †ö lïvê †hê ß꧆ öµ† ö£ ï† ツ

动摇了。

just finished watching 海派甜心 ..

makes me feel kinda emo ):

esp after watching their NG scenes..

i've always been interested in performing arts/ film/ theatre?

watching the NG scenes reminds me so much of drama!

brings back lots n lots of memories..

sometimes, i imagine myself being involved in smth like tat :)
the shooting, NGs, slpless nites..

but then, tis field is hard to survive bah.

+ structural integrity problem. lols TT

没有勇气

risk too much.

Settling for Law.

--- > prof job. good pay. stable life.

but i rly wish i have d chance to experience smth like tat looor.. ):

damm jealous of Pawara laa.. T T

haihhs... maybe "one day" my chance will come :)

有期待。。 是件好事吧 ♥

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How how how? ):

Teach me how to react to all these things!! ):

urghhhh...
i dunno hw to react la..

wad is the boundaries?

wad if i screw up?

wad if....

wad if i was wrong? lol :S

sux sux sux~~ @@

getting tired of playing this game laa..

I WAN OUT. meh?

wad if wanting out was wrong too?

i dont wan to taste regret worr...

)':

y cant u jz tell me instead? lol :S

i wanna noe.

the place i have.

in yr eyes perhaps.... :X?

❥ †r¥ïñg †ö lïvê †hê ß꧆ öµ† ö£ ï† ツ

Pweety please??

I wanna go bak to form3 4 &5!!!
Miss it so so so so so much......
Tis weekend spent it in KL wit Karine..
Wasn't exactly wad I tot.. )':
Thr was no screaming when we met.
No hugs during goodbyes.
It became rather a significant regret........
Why did it end like tis??
I imagined smth so much btr!

Then thr's obstacles. Some crazy bitches tat makes life so difficult.
Domino's pizza phailed.. Was looooking so forward to it.
But plan ruined by one of d bitches. Gave wrong info to me..
Wthell wo!!

Den another bitch took Karine away cz she was too much a coward to go to town herself.
Damn sien! Make me bo mood dao bao!


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I've decided. =)

APPRECIATE THE MOMENT.

that's wad i'll do for the time being.

no expectation = no disappointment

(:

❥ †r¥ïñg †ö lïvê †hê ß꧆ öµ† ö£ ï† ツ

struggles?

aiyoyo. wad am i becoming?

so wasted lar. emotional turmoil?

urghh. i dunno wad to do!

i felt drowned. in unnecessary thots? in necessary or unnecessary stuff?

lol. get wad i mean? ==

i feel pathetic. waiting.

WAITING. it kills. seriously...

*sigh*

72hrs.

den the feeling vanished?

i feel stupid trying to hold on to that feeling.

it was so hard. so hard to find back smth in the past..

nw now its gone again? lol. i m crapping.

i dun even noe y i post tis thing up ==

i hate the feeling that 忽冷忽热 u noe?

so many uncertainties.

create so many unnecessary thots?

urgh darn..

last question: Shud i hold on? or let go? move on?

❥ †r¥ïñg †ö lïvê †hê ß꧆ öµ† ö£ ï† ツ

难道是错的吗？

T^T

)':

D:

very moody these few days ehh... haihxx..

made a bunch of frends in MMU ler..

i mean, it's nice la.. but tis week had been upsy turdy.

i feel out of place? i feel like i dont mix? aiyo! i dunno hw say..

they r fun to b with lar.

but...

i feel tat they cant set their priorities straight lor!

urghh.. it's hard to be with ppl who have different standards of efficiency..

it's hard to cope with them. feel so tired?

den there'll always b a dilemma like:

"hmm.. if i follow them, sure fun etc... den more bond oso ma.."

"but lectures are important! cannot ponteng la!"

so, whn i chose to NOT PONTENG with them..

problem occur?

like, "eh~ ltr we skip lecture, help me sign attendance a!"

*takes paper* "come! i teach u!"

wtf?!

obviously, i dont do these kind of stuff rite? ==

i mean, OI, if u have d guts to ponteng, have the guts to face d consequences oso la!

diiiuu.. -.-

u ponteng, ur choice weh! y drag me in?

y shud i do smth wrong for ur sake rite?

but then again... -.- being in tat situation...

3 of them sendiri come teach me sign their signature...

wad else can i say?

i told them, "tis is the 1st, the last n the only time i'll do tis."

"Joanna, u beh song us a?"

"a bit lor..."

sighhhs...

in the end, i didnt sign for them.

they asked another girl to do it.

speechless ler.

d reason they skip tat 1 hr lecture is becz they r hungry.

Like i wasnt?! -.-

so i dunno lar. if i hav to put up with them for the whole of tis trimester like tis..

very sien de leh. it's like, i do the right thing, but alone. U GET?

it makes me feel like nt doing d right thing, or simply leave these friends?

bt it wasnt easy to make friends la! aiyoyo..

another time was, 4pm tutorial.. den 3.45pm i wan go class le..

den they were like.. aiya! nvm lar.. go at 3.55 :)

"ok lor.." *sighs*

when reach class, no seats in the front liao.

OMG sitting at the back sux! the LCD cant see, d lecturer talk like unclear liao..

N.... i sat with a 电脑白痴! seriously!

OMG. it's not like i'm discriminating or wadever,

or trying to say tat i'm good (which i am XD HAH)

but, c'mon la! pay attention in class! GAH.

my blood vessel can pop i tell u.

the tchr demo once. i demo once.

she still din get it. d most basic one oso she dunno.

in the end, i practically move her mouse n do the tutorial for her -.-

damm sien.

n oso....... got some prob with a bossy friend oso!

****

seriously.. -.- at 1st is becz she sprained her ankle, so i mean.. ok la nvm, i help her do stuff.

den her leg ok liao still continue weh!

wtf. den hor~ she quarrel with her bf... take it out on us tim.. sien.

so hw la?

see how things go bah..

stuck with them for assignments le anyways... ):

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My farewell~ MEH?

feeling rly down.

sry to say lar. i actually felt like nt going.

ONe.. family... mmmhmm...

ONe Farewell for me & Dom? u sure?

or is just u guys' punya day out?

haha.. rly sry la. u guys din make me feel like the main character for tis outing.

well, tis is wad i think lar:

planner gt prob?

Seriously, even d main character cant attend an event, u guys go wit it juga?

whr's d logic in tat? u guys just wanted to take d chance go watch movie... IRON MAN II or IP MAN.

wan take chance go Den2 & Sharon's 1B apartment. rite?

didnt rly feel the family feel in here? haha..

pfft. oso kan, another main character (Dom) pun sudah watch both shows lar. he rewatch tim.

haiya.. y cant u guys, just listen or get the hint? tsk.. or u dun wan get it?

Actually, me & Dom wanted go Sabah Museum. can make more memories den watch movie la pls. think pls? -.- goshh.. no offence, i'm disappointed.

if u say, aiyo! den tell la u wan go museum!

HAHA. hw funny. i did. so did Dom.

bt wad did i hear? "Eh~ Den2~ u sure u ady book d movie tickets a? ^^ *SMILE*"

wad else u wan me say leh?

i dunno is my problem or wad?

I OWAYS FEEL SO EFFIN SMALL whn around u.

i wonder if i ever had impact on other ppl..

i wonder if u guys would even rmb me after i leave?

对我公平一点可以吗？

u noe ka? i noe u felt tat i chged. since Form1.

true. i did. i admit.

form1, still young, still naive.

well, have u ever tot y i chged?

cz i felt like.. a stupid dumb blonde all the time.

i try my best make things memorable & enjoyable for ppl.

i try my best to help them.

but how many ppl? hw many times? did they ever try their best to do the same for me?

karine once told me, "i chged. i'm nt tat into u guys anymore.. i dont "search" within u guys.."

well then, " hw many times did u even search within me?"

u guys dunno hw it feels like.. to understand other ppl, bt nt understood by ppl....

it actually hurts & stings.

I chged becz, some thots hit me.

"wad's d point of being so caring, whn u doubt they'd do the same to u?"

just let me b more selfish.. for once?

i bet u didnt noe tat i noe..

In Form2, we had a fight... then cold shoulder..

HAH. then we went separate ways.. & u said to karine, "AIYA, nvm de la. after a while she'll come back to us de :) "

HOHOHO. taken for granted much? wtff...

urghh.. the chains of sorrow. yeah.. they root within oneself.

from one thing link to so many other unhappy things...

tonight still gt farewell dinner with ONe.

its gonna b tiring...

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crankyness brings the taste of bitter

maybe didnt slp well tis few days.. plus work pressure kan.. ):

brought back many many thoughts of bitterness.

i'll get the biggest one off my shoulder 1st X(

yeah, tat's u.

pfft. thr's so many hateful & mad things i wanna tell to ur face.

but i guess, it'll b totally random? *SIGHS*

i rmb clearly, that day.. during spm exam...

i was just sharing abt my brother going to india to study dentistry.

WHICH i am proud of :)

BUT... u just had to do that didnt u?

u're always like tat.

every1 else is nt important.

only urself.... i wonder if u ever thot of hw i felt whn u said those words?

even eileen was shocked u said things like tat.

"OMG seriously?! ur brother?! DENTISTRY?! he is like SHIT lar."

"U THINK LA. u see ur bro like tat. whr got ppl wan go see him see teeth oh!"

(SUPER LC FACE)

"if me i rather die oh"

* thr's still more, she kip emphasising on SHIT*

WTF?! HAH? wad did i ever do to u oh? wad did HE ever do to u?

i swear, if tat time nt spm period, i definitely argue wit u. ARGUE BIG BIG.

KAO. who r u la?! U SO GOOD MEH? PUII. GOOD SO WAD?

NO NID B BEST IN EVERYTHING?! NO NID OWAYS STEP ABOVE MY HEAD.

sometimes i cant help but feel tat u feel tat 'm a threat?

whnever i win u in smthing, it feels... scary? i rly hate hw u treat me sometimes.

like i'm ur rival. bt u still kip me close as a fren.

i feel like nothing. nobody....... no1 important.

d only time, u would look for me, is when u nid help.

help do tis, do tat? help solve tis solve tat?

den whn i needed help? whr r u? it's quite hard to talk to u.

oH oh.. another time u will look for me, is when u got smth feel nice to show off.

PFFT. 踩低别人是抬不高自己的！

anyways, thanks to ur actions tat day.

i woke up. i realised hw important my bro is. & hw much i rly love him despite hating him at the same tym :P

bt then, nw i'm soaked in guilt.. cz i din stand up for him.

cz i din tell u off with ur damm attitude.

GOSH. i doubt this burden's off my shoulder until i rly tell u hw much u've hurt me.

at that time & all along.......

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下着雨。。

下大雨了。

如果烦恼可以被大雨冲走，那该多好？

人生难料！偏偏喜欢跟人开玩笑。

做人也挺辛苦的。。

任命好？还是拼命好？

刚才妈妈跟我约了星期六去做身体检查。

看来，我不说，他们也当着我同意了。。

雨啊 雨啊。。

就算是我求你好了。。

替我洗走这些难以形容的痛！

❥ †r¥ïñg †ö lïvê †hê ß꧆ öµ† ö£ ï† ツ

无言？！

i'm speechless.

wthell......... one phone call.

"ur appeal to MMU to chg from Engineering to Law has been approved"

omg.

i tot after awhile i was ok wit it?

but when i hung up on the phone... my heart sank...

down & down & down.......

tears just whelmed up....

gonna b emo 2mr at Den2's hse... ):

❥ †r¥ïñg †ö lïvê †hê ß꧆ öµ† ö£ ï† ツ

心情好啊，心情坏~ ^^

快要精神分裂了！

MMU那儿必须等多一个星期才可以确认哦！

好折磨！

好想找Ms Hannah 或 Mr Isaac 谈谈Law的东西。。

可就是没勇气吗？ Yor！

希望星期五可以有机会吧！下个星期就放假了！很难有机会跟他们谈谈了！

）：伤心。

今天还好吧！嘻嘻！

与Karen他们几个疯着呢！哈哈哈。。

太压力了。。

Midterm nia 啦。这么拼命！XD

其实也是件好事啦~ ^^

❥ †r¥ïñg †ö lïvê †hê ß꧆ öµ† ö£ ï† ツ

看开点 ， 世界更美好 (:

哇~ 今天的心情还不错哦！

嘻嘻。。

学会看开点了吧~

或者是，跟Karine说了，所以轻松了 ^^

也或者。。

没什么看见朋友们。。 所以没有胡思乱想。

这个星期考试啊。。

与他们相处的时间超少的！有点怀念。 XD

你们还好吧？！*SHOUT TO THE SEA*

舒服多了~ ♥

❥ †r¥ïñg †ö lïvê †hê ß꧆ öµ† ö£ ï† ツ

枕头后面的故事。。

心情超差的。。
哭过了，还以为好了些。。
今天看见大家，有说有笑的。。又让我心酸了。
这些我都必须抛下吗？

看见ONe的家人时。。
突然有种想要拥抱他们的冲动。。

今天。。 哈哈。。
二弟煮了汤让我们品尝哦~
不知是不是应为很大可能将会离开， 喝汤时有种幸福的感觉 ^^

心很乱。 舍不得。。
面对不了。。
开不了口啊！
原来是这么地痛。。

我可以贪心一点吗？
与你们相处的时间实在太短了！
与你们共同拥有的回忆也太少了！
还不够认识你们！还没有跟你们疯狂的够！):

可以吗？
希望明天心情可以更好。。

❥ †r¥ïñg †ö lïvê †hê ß꧆ öµ† ö£ ï† ツ

I'm leaving?

i guess i rly am gonna leave..
May.. 2010..

its nt something for sure yet..
mum still nid to call MMU & ask if i can chg to Law course..
If can, i'll most probably havetta go.

wad she said is true also lar.
i mean, if i rly wanna b a lawyer liao, y nt go for Foundation in Law?
going for A-lvls is a waste of time & money. ):
how sadd.

jz thinking abt it is killing me inside.
letting go?
grabbing on?
i dunno wad is wad nw!

urghh. if i go, i have to say Goodbye to my ever so loved ONe family..
i have to say bye to my parents, my sis (hwever annoying she is)..
i have to say bye to my closest frends..

i'm gonna miss many outings, so many birthdays.
i'm gonna miss my bday party here too?!
i'm gonna miss Hari Kecemerlangan SMKLY
i'm gonna miss the welcoming back of pawsoh..
i'm gonna miss IS nite.

i'm nt rdy.

part of growing up?
it sux
& i hate it.
i downright hate it.

默默流泪。。

不要再逼我了！

很烦啊！

舍不得。。

放不下。。

难道离开真的是最好的选择吗？

心很痛哦。。 心很重。。

一旦离开了。。 就必须开始新的生活，熟悉所有新的东西了。

可是，那不是最大的问题。

问题在于撇下以前，撇下现在啊！

我没有把握，也没有这个勇气。

因为在心里的深处， 我明白， 离开了。。

一切就不能回头， 一切再也不会是一样了。。

与你们的感情也将疏远吗？

我不甘心。 真的真的不甘心。。。