I'm messed up.

(warning: you may feel a bit ambushed by this post)

I feel like an ass.
I am sorry. Truly I am so so very sorry.
But if this continues on, I will feel more and more lk an ass.

I shouldnt be feeling like this.
Being uncertain so often. I am not insecure btw.
Loneliness is a wrong footing to start relationships with anyway.
and face it, both of us are just lonely.

I wanna say I like you, but deep down I think I actually dont?
I mean I like hanging out with you but..... (sigh)
I don't like this back and forth thing on certainty that I'm facing.

we barely started a relationship and it already felt like routine.
I think it's bad timing? or just bad luck? I don't know.
I'm sorry but everyone has a choice in a relationship.
I shouldn't choose to settle and neither should you.
You mentioned before that if compared to the previous, we would have a better shot at this.
It kinda means you cant rly see the future in us too.

I am bad at handling this and for that I apologize too.
I really dont want to make things awkward etc
and you're a nice sweet guy, u really are.
I am so very sorry but I don't think "we" is a good idea..
I am very sorry that you've meet me too.
I'm sure you can find someone better who can be (way) certain of their feelings.

Most people hate this part but: I hope we can still be friends.
Maybe not right away (if you're hating me now) or maybe not ever (it's ur choice really).
But know this, I really did not intend for things to go this way or to hurt you in any way.

❥ †r¥ïñg †ö lïvê †hê ß꧆ öµ† ö£ ï† ツ

belated post

(btw, I wrote this last time when you asked me to. just din post it)

First time going out with you was nerve wrecking.
hahaha, actually thought of cancelling so many times.
I had no idea how it actually happened.
I could have been high when I jio u that time :X
Nonetheless, Hunger Games was nice =)
Really wished you talked more though lol.
And then we meet ur friend after the movie, which was better cz you seemed more comfortable then. Anyway, before that I was like "omg, whutt. shy to meet new ppl.." (but wj is cool haha)

The Hobbit was great.
Actually felt pretty bad that I couldnt make it on the dates you asked.
And in the end, we skipped class for the movie haha..
Glad we did? or I did. LOL. quite a easy topic to catch up (Thank God)
This time round you talked more which is good! :)
Enjoyed myself that day ^^

Post-Christmas Dinner
Thanks for the treat and the cute duckie hahaha..
kinda random to receive a duck though :P
Intrigues me on why it was in a bunny suit :O

New Year's Eve
Haha, thanks for jio-ing me out~
Cause I dun think I could have done so? Sorry I coward. #kthxbye
And then couldnt have given you the present :P
Jalan-jalan je without aim, well, that's the first for me. lolololol.
But it was quite nice =)
Thanks also for teman-ing me while my friends are late, very sweet of you :)

P/S: Sweet of you to be understanding and considerate too.. for not "taking me away" from my friends on this day. I felt bad though, cz I could feel that u wanted to countdown with me? (if it's true lol) Again, maybe at some point, I coward again #sorry #kthxbye

Other stuff:
Spending time with you is different.
Different from what I previously encountered anyway.
Good different :)

and I like your singing :P
almost.. almost.. made me melt hahahaha.

okay, bye. goodnight. goodnight. goodnight. (buries myself)

❥ †r¥ïñg †ö lïvê †hê ß꧆ öµ† ö£ ï† ツ

Why u keep asking that? 

Or questions like that.

I don't like it lo. 

Feels like u're trying to make me say smth. 

U keep trying to get into my head but u're not letting me into yours. I'm ok with letting you know what I'm thinking but I'm not ok with you not letting me do the same. 

Not purposely trying to reflect your qns btw. 

Happy New Year 2014!

Well, 2014 was off to a good start :)
End of 2013 was great.
Hi. I'm just typing to waste your time.
yes you. the one reading this. nehneneneneh.

okok, serious. Well not really.
I dunno what to post. I had an idea what to post.
But then I dun want to post.
You should post first.
Life don't always go according to plan.
HAHA

Happy New Year :D

❥ †r¥ïñg †ö lïvê †hê ß꧆ öµ† ö£ ï† ツ