distracted.

goodness! I can't focus in studying! :(
nid to get some things off my chest I guess?
been wanting to blog about things, but then dun seem to be able to do so?
it's like words just dont come to me.
even as of now, it is the same.
but it's making me sien & restless so I'll just try to make myself feel better? :(

hmm~ ok, so this post is gonna be about 'you'.
I feel bad really, for talking behind your back?
but I feel good, for letting it out? hahahaha and finding that others feel the same damn way.

& now I'm caught in a dilemma -__-
I don't really wanna be THAT close with you,
but then again, I am already the closest fren you have here?
full of myself? maybe.

It's not like me to be fake in front of people.
Being nice & being fake are different things.
Please see the line that distinguishes them.

Lately, well as of this semester, I gotta admit, I am being fake.
but only to you :)
Why?? Because that's just who I am.
I give back whatever shit or candy you gimme.
So you gave me shit, why should I give you candy?
You turned ppl against me. deliberately.
Thank God I did not fall to your standards, well, I dont have a need to~
Since you've already done it yourself.

seriously, you think you are that good at reading people.
you assume you are always right.
you assume you know me, but how much do you really?

urgh, one thing that I really despise about you- you hide things.
From so many people for so many selfish reasons.
It's sad.
It's saddening to see how others are falling...
somehow I'm glad that I won't be thr to see them hit the ground.
Your parents for one.
Why do you hide your bf from them?
a quote "a relationship in hiding will nvr last."

in the 3 years I've known you, you've chged like 3 bfs.
I try not to be judgmental, but really, you have a pattern.
The newest one, just dont seem to be THE ONE for you either,
but no harm sucking out every advantage u got rite?

oh yea, & dah lah got bf, stop flirting with other guys lah.
ketaranya the difference in personality when with us & with other guys.
FAKE.
& how dare you tell me I am the one who is fake.
goodness, lately getting close with one guy friend~ super nice fella :)
I hope he's not under her spell cz it would be heartbreaking to see him enslaved.

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oh mai gawdd.

diuuu~ getting pissed off leh!
jidan gao -___-
so hard meh what I ask you to do?
My instructions sibeh the clear liao leh.
Why other people, I reject their work once then ok ady?
Why you no do better?

Is making me bolat u noe?
I reject ur work trice! not once, not twice, but TRICE.
if u still cannot gimme a 5 paragraphs of quality work,
I'm afraid I might blow up at ur face man.

So tempted to take over n do it for u.
But fuck it. Why should I?
Why should I suffer when u dont do shit?
When all you do is date date date?
OMG, so disappointed sial.

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You're not THAT different from me.

Well, honestly, I'm taken aback with your reaction to the prank.
It was trivial.
Oh c'mon, as if you never pranked anyone.
As if you never lied.

I've explained myself & I dun find the need to explain any further.
You for one should understand that lies come hand in hand with pranks.

"If you can't tell the truth, just don't lie to my face."
Whao. I cannot believe you tweeted that.
I would say the exact same thing to you.

Frankly, there are so many times when I could have argued or fight for myself.
The thing is, I just choose not to.
I don't like to fight. But I can, really.
I can say things, things that hit nerves, things that hurt.
Things I can't take back once said. That's why I refrain from doing so.
What's the point of making everything so pressuring & strained?
rite? It aint worth the time. It aint worth anything for that matter.
& plus, it would make it seem like you're the victim & I'm the mean bully.
^^

So Yeah, so go on. Continue the cold shoulder treatment.
I aint apologising any more than I had.
Since you always treat it as though NOTHING HAPPENED when things did,
Let's just use your way ok? :)

Don't worry. I'll be around.
But I aint taking the first step to reconcile.


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ORANGE

feeling orange lately :(
I dun like it.

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overwhelming

ok, I dunno wtf is wrong with me.
I can't get myself to work, I can't get myself to study.
I stress-eat. For trivial reasons.

I'm just very moody.
dam all of these.

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f*cker stress ahhh!!!

!(&#@*#(!&$)!()#@()!@!!!
GRRR!~
STOP THROWING THINGS FOR ME TO HANDLE LAH.
OMG. F*CK MAI LIFE.

❥ †r¥ïñg †ö lïvê †hê ß꧆ öµ† ö£ ï† ツ

mental down breaking.

de blah de blah de blah.
long time no see.
goodness, rly can't take it anymore.
today was very very overwhelming.

Law Seminar this n that,
CSS gatherings this n that,
School Works to catch up.

feeling pressured.
feeling unappreciated.
feeling edgy.
annoyed.
angry for no reason.

This is getting too much.
I can't stop the tears somehow.

❥ †r¥ïñg †ö lïvê †hê ß꧆ öµ† ö£ ï† ツ