Humane

there are so many things that makes one humane.
I fucking hate it.

why do people have the need to share information?
is like what they say, "没人分享，快乐只剩一半"
this applies to me as well. Seriously, I dont have much of an outlet.

oh yes, I found out some bloody shocking happy news but it has to be kept on the downlow.
which REALLY just makes me wanna tell ppl even more.
u get? damn.

and so, very smart me, I chose to tell someone about my brother.
and very the smart her, she go n tell my brother that I told her.
I was like WHAT THE FUCK? -___-
my bro is never gonna let me know anything ady lar.
where got ppl reveal their fucking sources one?
you think it's funny? really?
compromising ur sources will only lead ur source to a dead end.
DO YOU NOE HOW HARD IT IS TO GAIN TRUST?
FML. I'm not gonna tell u shit anymore la.

U expect utmost honesty between all of us, but really u think that can happen?
Fuck. I'm not even gonna tell u about my stuff anymore.
have fun being kept in the dark.

n really, I am so tired of this MCS thing.
the moment I bring up the topic abt my bro,
why am I still surprised that the attention shifted immediately and the call ends thr.
dafuq? why do I always feel so belittled when compared to him?

even when the attention was on me, most of the time, I just felt fuyan-ness.
oh yes, I AM always the doorknob topic.
after all the fuyanness then u talk abt urself only.

I get it that the people u want attention from isnt giving it to you,
and I am always, always the one who could give that to you...
but I am only human.

all I ask for is more sincerity?
all I ask for is to NOT be taken for granted.
just becz the world is unfair to you doesnt give u the right to be unfair to me.

it is actually harder than you think to make myself always be the one others can depend on.
just becz I try to be a good kid doesn't mean I'm THAT good that when I did a small mistake,
one small evil makes me a worse kid compared to the kids who are bad for the start.

It really is just perceptions and assumptions.
It really is just humane.
and it definitely is damn unfair.


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