Friday, October 29, 2010

回忆的反反复复?

昨天 失眠啊。。
突然 很想 很想 KK 噢。
想起无数的美好时光。
是开心的。

今天,
好累, 好累啊。
精神上所承担的显得特别沉重。。

与MMU朋友们相处有稍微的摩擦,
说不出口, 懒得谈, 懒得吵, 更懒得闹。
算了。

今天,
脑海里一样闪过过去的画面,
一样是开心的回忆。。
可是为什么, 这次感觉不一呢?

心, 带有刺痛的感觉。
眼泪,也就这样流了下来。

原来, 回想过去不一定会带给一个人微笑。
我错了。思念是一种难以形容的痛。

回想过去
让我更了解无法让时间倒流的事实。
让我觉得很像失去了 生命中 非常非常重要的一大部分。
让我不知不觉地讨厌和厌倦现在。
让我发现我唯一可以做的, 就是抬头挺胸, 往前走。
可是, 真的没有想像中的容易啊。

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Thursday, October 14, 2010

again with the " you've changed"

OMG.
i noe la.
i sux at comforting ppl now.
i sux at motivating ppl now.

I've been told to be good at those in Form1-3?

you wanna noe y?
cz i cant do the decision for you.
cz i realise tat life is up to you to decide.
how you handle the situations in life will result in a different way!

and i dont have the right to make u do a decision.
and i've learn the hard way in my life.
I think it's better to tell ppl what they shud hear, not wad they wanna hear!
you think it's easy for me?
izzit??

meddling with ppl's affairs. i'm nt fond of that anymore.
i've outgrown the naive shell of mine.
i'm tired for doing so much and getting less returns.
i noe hw u feel. i rly do.
believe or not, it hw how a lot of ppl feel.
tat's wad makes it hard.

if u ask for my advice or wadever,
dont expect me to ask u to do smth.
unless i'm 100% sure of it.
if not, the choice is forever yours, and u cant blame me for it.

URGH.
i'm so sensitive with this "you've chged" issue!!!
): HATE IT.



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Sunday, October 3, 2010

再次离开。。

回去差不多一个星期多,
时间如火箭一样快地飞去。

在这短短的时间里
我忙了很多事情
和很多人创造了不少回忆噢!

回来的感觉
就像是,
我从来没有离开过。

可是, 可能就因为这样,
再度离开, 也和首次离开一样伤心, 心疼。
不对。
应该是 更加伤心, 心。。 显得更加沉重啊。

或许 整个星期都在忙 所以 没什么和自己的心情接触,
在离开的当天 才真真发现自己根本不想回马六甲。

早上, 妈妈带我去剪头发, 坐在那儿时, 泪默默地流了下来。
我也只能把泪收回, 不断告诉自己 “上次也是这样离开的, 没什么好哭的。”

回到家, 妹妹开始缠着我了。
开头觉得有点烦, 就对他动手了。
然后 看着他 不坑一声地把头往枕头埋去了。
那时, 才发现, 才察觉到, 他对我的不舍。
我离开后, 他应该很寂寞吧。
泪啊。。 又不听话了。

和家人说再见时, 也有一种难以形容的复杂心情啊。

说真的, 在机场时有两个我非常 非常 想见的人。
就是 在上个星期和我相处最愉快的。
可是, 他们都没有出现。 也算了吧。 (:

上了飞机后, 真的很累了。。
就闭上眼睛。。 醒来后, 再也睡不回了。
因为, 脑海里 都是在沙巴的回忆!
想念! 可以变得如此的难受。。
真是一种 带着开心的伤心啊!
T____T

很想念“你”的拥抱。
也很想念和“你”一起的时光。

到了马六甲的家,
感觉上 很不踏实。
为什么时间不能倒流呢? ):

haihh..
可是, 他们也说,

“不要伤心它已过去, 而要开心它曾经发生过!”

我会加油的。

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Wednesday, September 29, 2010

Exhaustion

Oh mii gawdd...
travelling is tiring, but it feels so good to be back. (WHEN WIT MY FRENS)
it feels kinda tiring to be at home??
it's nt boredom.
it's like i have to please my mum especially?
omg. i am so tired. i am so behsong with her mood swings.
my grandma came over too.
i mean i do love her. n i do spend time wit her.
i talk to her.

BUT
whr was my mum? busy at office.
at night, i wanna do my stuff, ohh cannot.
cz mum thinks tat we bo choi grandma.
and gets mad at me.
SLAM DOOR.
RAISE HER VOICE.
BLAH BLAH BLAH.

OMG la. very tiring u noe?
i noe i shudnt have tis feeling?
but i DO.
I feel very 'FAN' when you talk to me..
I feel very 'FAN' when grandma n auntie talk.
URGHH.

Life is so unfair sometimes.
Just becz other ppl dont do wad they nid to,
you have to do it.


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Sunday, September 19, 2010

Dreams again...

I wish i can record my dreams and watch again later.
haha..
anyways, I better write them down before i forget?

i had 3 nitemares ytdy. and a good dream too. haha. 4 dreams in a nite!
lol~

Nitemares:
1st)
Everywhr i go, chinese is like banned. It disappeared. N i was searching hard. ):

2nd)
Repetitive of the 1st, lol.. but this time, i was telling Karine about it. T T

3rd)
Lol, thr was a fight, I was siding one of the teams. lol. (dont rly rmb liao) but it was a bit bloody. hahaha.. i rmb one part, whr i kinda main buyuk. lol. i go kacau the judging system. :P

Good dream)
I dreamt of my lovely LokYuk Juniors!


Well, we always dont rly rmb who's in our dreams so i barely can...
but thr's Jeremiah, Amanda Chee, Cheryl Kok, Winnee... etc. a whole lot. lol.
mostly those who worked under me before.

*SCREAMS*
I miss being your KETUA ohh..
U guys got miss me bo? haha..

I was in some kind of competition.

Fellow competitors: LokYuk friends?? no idea. lol. i just rmb one is Paw i think :O lol
Judge: MMU PGL0015 Lecturer -_____-

anyways,
Then i got special treatment! my last task was very very hard.
but the judge gave me my lokyuk juniors as backup.
huhu! so happy. hahahaha.
We were suppose to remake a chair (those boss sit one) wit the spare parts & redecorate.
+ all the other small stools. haha..

before i could end the dream,
*ALARM RINGS*
uh.. ): din have the chance to finish building the chairs! T T

but hey, the design is planted in my mind. :) maybe..
just maybe..
one day, it might be a dream come true



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Friday, September 17, 2010

我不怪你

我不怪你 想要默默地离开
因为 如果是我 我应该会做出一样的事吧。。

就算 离开是自己的选择
离开的那一刻 依然会让人有种难以形容的痛和不舍。
更何况 如果离开是别人对你的要求呢?

所以 选择 默默离开 就可以避免面对不想面对的。。
朋友, 离别, 哭泣, 更切实的心痛和不舍。。

我明白, 可是 真的是这样吗?

当你在飞机上默默流泪时,
其实 我也一样陪着你。
你感受得到吗?

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Thursday, September 16, 2010

梦。

昨天睡得不错哦!
发了一场梦。

梦里的人都是KK的朋友! 哈哈。
有点可笑,也有点奇怪。

当时很像是在排戏,有几只牛, 很像在比哪只快 还是什么的。 哈哈。。
然后 有人说华文, 突然 又变 马来文。 zzz..
然后 突然 我就在人群里了, 和朋友们看戏。。HAHAHAHA.
可是 感觉不错! 嘻嘻 ~ ^^

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